Freeing Myself Through A Poem By Marge Piercy

 

Freeing myself from within is a huge job for me.  I have been working on it, on different levels, for decades. Still, I find comfort in words that, at once, reveal and guide me through the seemingly endless maze. This poem always helps stoke my inner power, especially as I read it aloud.

 

FOR STRONG WOMEN

A strong woman is a woman who is straining
A strong woman is a woman standing
on tiptoe and lifting a barbell
while trying to sing “Boris Godunov.”
A strong woman is a woman at work
cleaning out the cesspool of the ages,
and while she shovels, she talks about
how she doesn’t mind crying, it opens
the ducts of the eyes, and throwing up
develops the stomach muscles, and
she goes on shoveling with tears in her nose.
A strong woman is a woman in whose head
a voice is repeating, I told you so,
ugly, bad girl, bitch, nag, shrill, witch,
ballbuster, nobody will ever love you back,
why aren’t you feminine, why aren’t
you soft, why aren’t you quiet, why aren’t you dead?
A strong woman is a woman determined
to do something others are determined
not be done. She is pushing up on the bottom
of a lead coffin lid. She is trying to raise
a manhole cover with her head, she is trying
to butt her way through a steel wall.
Her head hurts. People waiting for the hole
to be made say, hurry, you’re so strong.
A strong woman is a woman bleeding
inside. A strong woman is a woman making
herself strong every morning while her teeth
loosen and her back throbs. Every baby,
a tooth, midwives used to say, and now
every battle a scar. A strong woman
is a mass of scar tissue that aches
when it rains and wounds that bleed
when you bump them and memories that get up
in the night and pace in boots to and fro.
A strong woman is a woman who craves love
like oxygen or she turns blue choking.
A strong woman is a woman who loves
strongly and weeps strongly and is strongly
terrified and has strong needs. A strong woman is strong
in words, in action, in connection, in feeling;
she is not strong as a stone but as a wolf
suckling her young. Strength is not in her, but she
enacts it as the wind fills a sail.
What comforts her is others loving
her equally for the strength and for the weakness
from which it issues, lightning from a cloud.
Lightning stuns. In rain, the clouds disperse.
Only water of connection remains,
flowing through us. Strong is what we make
each other. Until we are all strong together,
a strong woman is a woman strongly afraid.

Marge Piercy

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Freeing Myself By Speaking My Mind

 

I am so eager to work on freeing myself from within that it has been hard to focus on much else.  That is what my life is about this year and I plan to make good on it.  As it goes with such things, the steps I need to take present themselves to me; I never need to figure out what they are.

 

On Saturday, in one of my rare moments of complete relaxation from work, I was watching a hockey game which took place in Denver between that team and my home team.  I was enjoying it until I was shocked out of my mellow state by what the announcer said. This may just be coincidental, but I said something about it on twitter and my followers have dropped off since.  I mean no harm to anyone but I must speak up to maintain my good mental health. The letter I wrote follows.

 

Dear Editor:

During the Colorado Avalanche vs. Vancouver Canucks hockey game on Saturday, February 4, 2012, play-by-play announcer, John Garrett, followed a fight in the third period between Shane O’Brien and Alex Burrows.  Burrows tried to score. Someone grabbed him around the neck and pulled him down on the ice until he was flat on his back.  All the players were around him by his upper body when Mr. Garrett said: “It’s as though he thinks he’s being raped in the face.”

 

These kinds of comments flow like salt in our society–especially ones that include jokes about rape or other kinds of violence primarily against women, but crimes of which boys and men are also victims.  Normally, in an almost conspiracy of silence, most will ignore it but, from a woman’s point of view, we are half of this society. It is wrong for the future of our daughters, sons, and even ourselves to participate silently in this practice.

 

It would be nice to hear an apology to everyone from Mr. Garrett. He has a wife, two daughters and perhaps sons. Surely, he owes it to all victims of rape–women, little girls, boys and men–-who were simply watching a hockey game where a fight was happening. His words turned it into something much uglier and upsetting to myself as a survivor, and most definitely, to others.

 

Sincerely,

 

Terry Gibson.

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